January 27th is the annual State of the Union address. One year after being elected, President Obamassiah’s poll numbers have dropped faster than his policies have failed. I believe he can not only turn that around, but actually become a good leader of the United States of America.
The State of the You-nion:
My fellow Americans,
Times have been tough for us. Many people have lost jobs and homes. Businesses large and small have fallen to the wayside. This recession has lasted longer than we expected, and I believe we now know the problem.
One year ago, I was sworn into this prestigious office. But I rode in on a wave of palm leaves, and felt the force of the nation behind me; I misunderstood that force and those who elected me, as well as friends, neighbors and families of ours who voted otherwise. I overreached.
This Office has humbled me; you have humbled me. I am here to tell you that the buck stops here and that together we can turn this recession around!
Health care reform, while important, will need to be put aside while we work on the economy. A rich nation can help herself and others in need; a poor and unemployed nation cannot. Americans are a very giving nation. Even in this economy, you have opened your hearts and your wallets to help the Haitians during their own time of need and devastation of the earthquake. I know that one day we will do the same with health care for our fellow citizens, but today is not that day. Today we begin a new program; one that moves beyond hope and change — back to our founding principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
[Continue with normal speech: How to turn economy around, how well we’re doing in the Mid-East, how people abroad feel of us, etc.]
He doesn’t even have to mean the words. Many people will want to forgive him, for in that way they may be forgiven for doubting.
The State of the Me-nion: Instead, we’ll probably get this. Many, many first-person personal pronouns (“I have done this”, “Because of my policies…”, “Isn’t my halo shiny?”). And don’t forget the “Let me be clear …” statement which always is followed by murkiness. In fact, I’ll simply refer to The Daily Beast’s Write Your Own Obama Speech.
Either way, I have little doubt that we’ll end up with:
The State of the O-nion: Many layers, once peeled, make us all become teary.
Update: I was a day early on the speech! Ooh, I must be excited. Or sumfin.